Trauma is an event or series of events that result in physical, emotional, social, and spiritual harm. Its effects are vast and often long lasting, following those who experience it well after the events that caused it occurred. Not everyone may know this, but our brains can actually be affected by trauma from day 1, before we even have a conscious memory. Enough research has been conducted that we now know trauma affects the biological growth and development of your brain! Trauma can affect individuals in a multitude of ways. One of those ways being your attachment.
When you are a child you are relying on an adult to meet your emotional and physical needs. This begins at infancy. When those needs are inconsistently met, or not met at all, your brain begins to form an abnormal attachment pattern. These patterns can negatively affect our ability to connect, to communicate, to respond, and to feel loved in relationships for the rest of our lives!
In contrast, where people sometimes fail us in relationships, animals don’t. They can be so healing! Animals are intuitive, reliable, and above all they love unconditionally! The experience of unconditional love is so incredibly healing after receiving neglectful, sporadic, or transactional love.
When I was in my early 20’s I experienced homelessness. I had never felt so down about myself as I did in those weeks. The shame, the fear to ask for help, the feelings of betrayal, loneliness, and worthlessness were hard to handle. Next to me always in the passenger seat of my car was my dog. Just loving me unconditionally. There was no judgment in her eyes, or in her interactions with me. To her I was the same person I always had been and I was worth more to her than anyone else in the world. To have been permanently disconnected from her truly would have broken me.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose the homes we grow up in, and the unhealthy patterns that follow us into adulthood due to situations we were never able to control. What we can choose is to heal and to help others heal as well. My Christmas wish this year is that people and pets can all spend their lives in the safety and stability they deserve.
Written by Clare Hotard
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